A super easy system on how to meet women in bars

March 18, 2024
A super easy system on how to meet women in bars
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The four step system on how to meet more women in bars

I’m going to teach you a simple system on how to meet women in bars. I always see a lot of easily avoidable mistakes when men try to approach women in bars. From ending approach anxiety to knowing what to say, this post will cover it all.

Step 1: Find a really good bar

Not all bars are created equally. That hole in the wall down the block from your house that mainly hosts retired cops and firefighters? That’s probably not the best place to try and meet women.

What about the bar near that busy business district a train ride away from you? The one that hosts all those happy hours and has a big flow of people coming through it. That’s a better option.

Look for a bar that has different people always showing up. You don’t want a place with the same 15 local drunks and zero ladies. You want a fairly active bar in a good neighborhood.

Step 2: Prepare accordingly

Dress appropriately. What does this mean? Could it be a three piece suit? Or how about pajamas with socks and sandals, or sweatpants? How about none of the above.  Do not come too dressed up or look like you’re taking out the garbage.

In general, you want to match the crowd's look. If everyone is looking all business casual, wearing your college hoodie might stick out like a sore thumb. You can still wear a sleek fashionable hoodie though. Some wardrobe items always look good wherever you are and a high end hoodie is one of those classic pieces. Just have common sense with what you wear.

Also, be generous with your fragrance. You won’t fill up the air with your scent. There’s dozens if not a hundred people at a bar. Your scent will likely be drowned out by others. So it’s okay to go crazy with your fragrance as long as it’s a solid bottle.

Step 3: Talk to a woman as quickly as you can

Approaching women is a nerve-wracking experience. The longer you wait to talk to anyone, the worse your approach anxiety will get. You must pull the band-aid off right away.

As soon as you walk into the bar, try to find a girl you can talk to. And this exercise isn’t about getting her number. It’s simply to get that first approach out of the way. Walk by the first woman you see and say anything to her.

“That’s a fancy looking drink. What is that?”

“Really? Working at this hour?” (if you see her on her laptop)

“How good is this weather?”

“Hey, that's a really nice outfit.”

The weight will be lifted off your shoulders. You’ll feel more confident as soon as you talk to a woman. And in this case, you’re not actually trying to escalate the conversation. You’re simply making a lighthearted friendly comment. The pressure will be low. And she’ll like to be receptive to what you’re saying.

Don't get inside your head and think “ I can't say these things, I’ll sound stupid.” The woman you make any of these comments to, will forget about you in less than 30 seconds after the conversation is over. Just go for it.

Step 4: Sit where you’ll be able to see everyone

Seating position matters. You want to be positioned so you can make eye contact with as many people as possible. In case a girl is looking at you, you can see it clearly and buy her a drink.

In case a girl is sitting by herself bored, you’re at the perfect vantage point to notice and approach her. If this is a busy place, there will be 20-40 women showing up throughout the night. Do not sit with your head down on your phone all night. Look up and pay attention. Talk to the bartender too.

It’s also not a bad idea to become a regular at this bar and get to know everyone there. Guys you’ll make friends with could show up with their female friends. You’ll have an easy path to meeting them. Women are also occasional regulars at bars. You never know who you’ll end up meeting because you became a familiar face at this bar.

A quick note on drinking. Alcohol is obviously bad for you. It can cause weight gain, aging, dehydration, and a ton of other health problems. Have a non-alcoholic beer or ginger ale if you're going to be a regular. Don't booze up every time.


When it comes to meeting women at a bar, follow this easy four step system. Going in with no strategy will result in little to no results. Approaching and talking to women requires more planning and mindset shifting than you think. So don’t treat this exercise lightly. Come in prepared and ready to socialize.

And if you want more dating and conversation advice, my dating newsletter is for you.

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Men's Dating Coach

I'm a men's dating coach with over 300,000 social media followers and 25,000+ email subscribers. I’ve coached hundreds of men from all over the world and helped them with dating, relationships, and self-improvement.