What do women find attractive in men?
You don’t have to be a Tom Ford model to date sexy women. Most women prefer an average looking guy in good shape that they can see marrying and starting a family with over a boneheaded 8-pack stud whose vocabulary ceiling is that of a 3rd grader.
Hot men can be intimidating, perceived as arrogant, and too into themselves. The other issue? They depend too much on their looks to get by in life. So, if you’re not built like Chris Hemsworth, the good news is that you don’t have to be. As long as you apply the recommendations below, then you will maximize your chances of women finding you attractive.
More Plates Equals More Dates
What does it mean to be an average looking guy? Average does not mean man boobs, scrawny arms or a beer belly. Nor does it mean being skinny-fat with patchy facial hair. Nowadays it’s expected that a guy works out. It’s actually weird if he doesn’t.
If you don’t exercise what exactly are you doing with your free time? A good workout only requires 45 minutes. You seriously don’t have less than an hour a day to lift some weights 3x per week? There is no reason to be obsessed with huge biceps and 6-inch calves. The goal should be to get in shape and stay in shape. Working out can mean running, cycling, lifting, a combat sport, or walking. Yes, walking is a very effective exercise.
The moral of the story is YOU MUST EXERCISE. There are no exceptions to this rule unless you are recovering from an injury or have a major disability.
Imagine this - you only need to invest one hour a day into your body to sleep with more women, get a high-quality girlfriend, and have more business and personal opportunities in general. It’s a very small price to pay when you put it into perspective. Think of how many hours a day we spend on complete nonsense that has zero ROI. Fitness is a high ROI activity – it can work wonders for your love life, network, and net worth. There is no downside to working out.
Start Dressing Like An Adult
There was a recent Tik Tok video of an interviewer going around asking women if they prefer a great body or great fashion in men. The women shown in the video all picked fashion.
Whenever I make a post saying that men need to level up their wardrobe, I always get that one guy that comments “what do my clothes have to do with anything???”
This comment alone shows how clueless some men are when it comes to attracting women. A killer wardrobe won’t hide a 400lb frame, but a decent fashion sense is a game changer for an average built guy.
Dressing well has incredible residual effects. It can have women take you more seriously, get you promoted or hired, increase your chances of having a better time at a party, and have men respect you more. When you’re dressed well, it instantly boosts your confidence. It signals who you are as a person – it shows you make good decisions and care about your self image. When you dress like crap, you signal chaos. When you’re dressed well, you’re signaling you live an orderly life (even if that might not be true).
Some men will say “but I don’t care what people think of me. I want to be comfortable.” You want to be more likeable, okay? Dressing well adds to your happiness. Be comfortable at home. When you’re out in the world, market yourself appropriately, and that starts with fashion.
The following are some basic men’s fashion rules to follow:
(1) Stick to solid colors – there is no need to experiment with pastel or bright colors. Stick to the basics: black, white, navy, gray. And avoid patterns.
(2) No khaki shorts or pants. You’re a man with purpose, not a retired dad who only wants to grill some burgers and talk sports.
(3) Know your crowd – if you’re going to a barbecue, it’s better to be safe and wear jeans over sweatpants. Don’t wear sweatpants anywhere unless it’s to the gym or a quick drive-through run. For dinners and events, ask for the dress code if you are unsure.
(4) Slim fit looks good on all body types.
(5) White pants should be worn only during the summer or on vacation in warm climates. Otherwise, leave this item in the closet.
(6) Wear dark denim jeans over light denim. Light denim isn’t easy to pull off. It requires the right shade of shoes and top. With dark denim, you can wear almost anything and look good.
Tip: For more guidance on what to buy, click the Best Sellers tab on a e-commerce clothing website to see what other men are buying. Oftentimes it’s a good selection.
Have a Sense of Humor
If you ask any woman her top traits in a guy, I guarantee that one of them will be a sense of humor. This does not mean that you have to be a comedian or have a large reservoir of jokes memorized. Excessive sarcasm doesn’t count as having a sense of humor either.
Having a great sense of humor is one of the best compliments someone can give you. It means you take things lightly and have the ability to point out the absurdity and humor in various situations in life.
One key component you should learn is teasing a girl. For example, if she does something quirky before a specific event, you want to make note of it. Let’s say she has a complicated drink order every time you go out to get coffee. When the waiter comes by, you can say something like “get your notepad out, this is going to be the most complicated drink order you’ve ever heard.”
Generosity and kindness are one of the sexiest traits in a man. Women are not used to generous men, so when do they come across one - it's refreshing and a game changer. Men that are genuinely generous, with no hidden intentions, will have women see them in a different light.
Women can see through men that are buying them dinner and designer bags just so they can sleep with them. These types of men will get used and abused - they are not respected.
If you are mentioning the price of an item on the menu or often bringing up how much things cost, you sound way too cheap. This is a major turn off. If you only pay after arguing about the subject, you’re making it hard for women to want to be around you.
Another annoying habit - are you often bringing up things you’ve done for someone? Let it go. It’s okay to mention past acts of kindness once in a while. But all the time? It sounds like you have a grudge about it.
How do you signal generosity when dating women? Follow these three simple rules:
- Pay for at least the first three dates
- Don’t mention the cost of things
- Over tip service workers
Are you self-destructive or do you take care of yourself? Self-care does not need to be facials, sliced cucumbers over your eyes, manicures, and massages. A day at the spa is not what I’m referring to.
It can be simple things like getting enough sleep. Not biting your nails. Eating right. Going to the doctor when things seem amiss, not picking your face, and staying on top of your fitness.
If she learns that you go days without sleeping, or only get two hours every night because you binge watch Amazon Prime, you become a liability.
Her subconscious will worry that your bad habits will keep her up at night, or that she’ll have to cater to your terrible routine.
At a minimum, you should get 7-8 hours of sleep per night, wash your face when you wake up and before you go to bed, apply moisturizer, eat whole foods as opposed to processed junk, and routinely workout. Stick to the basics.
Be Financial Stabile
I don’t know when this trend started but splitting the bill on dates is not ok. It signals that you’re cheap or broke, neither of which is good. For your own peace of mind, security, and overall happiness, you want financial stability in life. You want to be able to afford your own apartment, eat out whenever you feel like it, and splurge on clothes without worrying about what your credit card bill will look like at the end of the month.
Obviously if you have money and a woman can sense it, it’ll make you more attractive. This doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to get used.
But money is a sign of safety. Subconsciously, if a girl knows you are doing financially okay, her first thought isn’t “Oh he can buy me bags and take me to St. Barts.” She’s thinking “Oh we can have a home one day and I can lean on him to take care of the bills while I take care of our family.” There are definitely instagram models out there who have the former on their mind. But most high quality women have their mindset focused on stability.
Show Some Confidence
Confident men are not clingy, desperate, or need constant assurances from women. If you are any of these things, expect to be single for a long time. You need to have game. Game is basically not being a complete bitch around women. It’s having the self-discipline to not bend to their will. It's knowing how to verbally tease them. And its showing they aren’t your priority in a non-disrespectful way.
Some men just have it in them naturally and others need to go through rejection a number of times before they learn their lesson. So if you’re not confident right now and lack game, you have two choices.
The first is to put yourself in a situation where you interact and date women often. This way you expose yourself to a ton of rejection and learn as you go.
The other option? Get my program, How To Make Her Want You, where you learn the ins and outs of dating.
In conclusion, becoming attractive to women is not an overnight process. It takes time but every guy has the potential to become a high value man and attract women at a higher clip.