Sam Sulek and Dating
In case you don’t know who Sam Sulek is, he’s a bodybuilder in his early 20s with millions of followers. What he basically does is lift, eat on camera, and talk mostly about lifting and eating. But he has a calming presence and this combination has made him become extremely popular.
He’s the Bob Ross of bodybuilding. His entire focus and being is all about bulking, then cutting, and always lifting. After watching some of his videos, a profound idea came to me - You need to operate for women, not men. Sam Sulek, although successful in the current vertical he’s in, does not equate to success with women.
How not to attract women
Suppose your main goal is to attract more women. Sam Sulek’s lifestyle, eating habits, and complete focus on bodybuilding will not work for you. He has 5+ meals per day. His wardrobe is centered around comfortable but ugly gym clothing. His need for lots of calories causes him to eat terrible food like huge bowls of chocolate whole milk with cinnamon toast crunch, causing him to have bad skin.
You might like the lifting lifestyle. You might like the idea of counting macros and trying to get big. But all that only impresses other men. Women have no interest in it. There’s a lot of things guys confuse as being appealing to women when really, only other guys would be into it.
Look at the tactical EDC (everyday carry) community. You would think having a bunch of gadgets on you at all times would be interesting to women - after all you make yourself very useful having a flashlight or small repair tools on you at all times - but no. Only guys find this appealing. Women will think you’re cheesy for carrying a high-powered flashlight with you and spare batteries at all times in your tactical wallet.
Women are not lining up to sleep with Sam Sulek, despite his huge muscles and millions of followers. Sam doesn't seem to be interested in attracting women, he’s too busy doing multiple bulking and cutting phases throughout the year. But if he was, he’d have a problem.
Now to be fair, Sam’s videos aren’t about how to get laid. And he is very self-aware. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing isn’t optimal to attract women. But for any guys out there thinking following his life path will come with that extra bonus of getting more girls, you are mistaken.
How to attract women
If you want a good-looking, normal girlfriend, ignore all the bodybuilding noise.
“You want to get jacked? Eat at a 500+ calorie deficit and train for 2 hours at the gym. DAILY.”
This won’t get you laid. You’re better off doing 18-20 sets per week for each muscle group within two different workouts, staying away from excess sodium, eating high quality foods, and having a small surplus in calories so you get clean gains. Eating like sh*t will result in massive bloat, ugly skin, and bad hair. (Sam’s hair looks pretty bad.)
What about the EDC hobby I mentioned earlier. Is that something you’re into? Attach a flashlight to your keychain and get a nice Tumi wallet, not some loud velcro bifold that makes you look childish when taking it out to pay the bill. Don’t carry large weird items on you for the sake of preparedness.
Men’s approval should not be your priority when it’s women you’re trying to impress. I know a guy who’s into street racing. He has a Subaru that’s super loud, modified, with all sorts of lights, and upgraded specs. One time he hinted to me that he thinks women are into that. No. Men are into that. Not girls.
If he wanted to impress women, all that money he put into that car could have gone into a standard BMW or Lexus. Girls, even the modest ones, enjoy being in a luxury car - even entry level luxury. They prefer that much more than a Honda Civic that could be featured in a Fast and Furious movie.
Bottom line - don’t confuse what women like vs. what men like.
And what exactly do you need to do in life to become the most attractive version of yourself to get more girls into your orbit?
Stick to the basics. Try to have a good job, dress well, look good in clothing, be lean without a massive belly, and have a stylish haircut. Self-improvement is the key to getting more women in your life.
It’s okay to have interests. But remember, what you find interesting might only impress other men - not women. If you want to attract women, do things that women like.
And what women want most is stability, a man who shows authority, maturity, and has common sense when it comes to his appearance. If you want to learn how to convey all of that, my dating newsletter is for you.