How To Talk Better To Women
Let’s face it. Talking to women is not easy. Most guys suck at it. And why wouldn’t they? There is a very specific art and science behind talking to a woman. For most of your life, you’ve been talking to other men. What you can easily say to a man simply cannot be said to a girl. Yet everything you know when it comes to relaxed conversation that you’ve learned through most of your interactions with other guys will fall flat and fail with women.
It really isn’t your fault that you suck at talking to girls. You’re barely around them, the opportunities of A/B testing what you want to say doesn’t happen often, and once you’re rejected, you have to move on to a new girl.
Let’s talk about what you can do to talk to women better.
It’s a Numbers Game
Right off the bat, I have an entire course on this topic. Click here if you want to learn how to talk to women.
Now that that’s out of the way, it starts with repetition. You will only get better at something if you do it often enough. You must put yourself in a position to talk to women as often as possible.
But that’s not enough. You have to read their reaction to the things you say. If every time a girl asks how you’re doing and you say “Not great! My rash keeps acting up!” and she says “oh umm…ok…hope you feel better,” you should probably stop using that as your response since it’s TMI and you’ve obviously made her uncomfortable.
If your initial response is “I’m doing good. Just finished a great workout” and all of a sudden, she goes into a soliloquy about the gym and how she should work out more - keep using that line. You want the girl talking more. You got a good reaction out of that line therefore you should keep coming back to it when you interact with the next girl. Learn what works and what doesn’t.
Don’t Be Weird
Believe it or not, women like normal guys. They want a guy who comes off as stable, confident, living a life of purpose, and masculine.
If when talking to a woman, you convey low self-esteem, you make too many jokes about yourself, you come off as sensitive, erratic, angry, passive-aggressive, or sarcastic - the conversation will not go far.
Be extremely self-aware of what you’re saying. Look weird and it’s game over right then and there.
Do More Sh*t
When you do nothing all day, when you expose yourself to few experiences, when you read nothing - you will have nothing to talk about. This is why you need hobbies, a reading habit, and a healthy social life.
The more stuff you do, the more you’ll have to talk about. Your mind is a reservoir of nothingness right now. The only way you’ll become more interesting is if it’s filled with moments, experiences, knowledge, and interconnections between all that creates addicting conversation. Being an absolute blank slate with nothing happening in your life will make talking to women hard.
Know someone who’s good with the ladies? Have a co-worker who has the gift of gab and can control the room? Watch them. Study them. You probably won’t be able to emulate their skill level when it comes to talking to women or people, but you’ll definitely pick up on a few things.
Some guys seem to have it all. 6”2, jacked, not a single negative blemish on their face or body - and when you look like this, more than likely, everything they say will be received well. This is not who you should be paying attention to. Focus more on the guy who clearly navigates through the conversation well, maintains eye contact, and is good at picking up on various cues that he uses to propel the conversation forward. Watch those who are actually good at talking - not a boring chad who can get away with being dull.
Getting better at talking to women is no simple task. It requires practice, self-awareness, the ability to drop bad conversational habits you picked up over the years, and a desire to constantly get better with each interaction.
Watch how others do it, never be weird, remember that it’s a numbers game, and do more interesting things in life to start enhancing this skill. And if you are really serious about getting better at talking to women, my conversation course Conversation Academy is for you.