Everyone is glued to their phone these days. So, it makes sense for a guy to learn how to create an emotional connection with a girl through texting.
The term “texting” includes what you say to a girl through Instagram, dating apps, and traditional text messages.
Before I get into this topic, I want to make one thing clear:
As a men’s dating coach, I do not endorse the idea of texting a woman a lot. You should be texting to check-in and set up dates - that’s it. If she initiates a conversation that requires you to engage, that's okay. But I don’t generally approve of a man initiating a long conversation via text. I much prefer you to have substantial conversations take place in person, not in front of a screen.
But men do want to learn how to level up their texting game and make women want them more through this medium so let’s get right into it.
Emotional Connections Are Ruined When You Overwhelm Her
The first rule of building emotional connections through texting: you must reel her in.
She has to be the one interested in connecting with you via text. She also has to have high interest in you. If a girl isn’t that into you, there’s nothing you can do to emotionally connect with her via texting. She needs to be attracted to you in the first place. But once she is attracted, your job is to never overwhelm her.
Do not send massive blocks of messages. She can do it all day long to you. But you cannot do it her. No matter how much a girl likes you, after a while, she’ll slowly lose interest when she’s thrown so many messages. To properly reel her in, take your time when texting her.
If you ask “how was your day?” stop right there. Let her answer, then share your next thought.
“How was your day? Btw what did you have for lunch? Also, just got back from an interview. It was crazy!”
There’s too much that she needs to address and it will exhaust her.
Another tip: give it time between messages.
If she messages you, do not respond right away. Give it 10-15 minutes. You want to show that you’re busy and preoccupied with life. Carry on with work, driving, walking your dog, or whatever it is that you were doing before she texted. Don’t drop everything to respond.
If she texts you and you respond within a second - it looks really pathetic.
So, if she texts you “Hey, what are you up to today?”
Wait a little.
What if you’re both having a back and forth? Then it’s okay to respond faster. I still wouldn’t respond within a second of her messaging you. Give it a couple of minutes, gather your thoughts, and then click that send button.
Let Her Talk About Herself to Build an Emotional Connect
She doesn’t want to hear about Andrew Tate.
She doesn’t want to hear about the new matrix movie.
She doesn’t want to hear about the EDC bundle you bought.
Girls are typically into their girly things and lives. Let her talk about herself. If she doesn’t volunteer information, then ask her questions. Every time she talks about herself, she’ll feel good. That’s positive reinforcement she’s developing when talking to you.
Let her talk about her day, the stuff she bought on Amazon, and whatever other drama she has going on in her life.
You want to talk about yourself? Fine, but keep it at a ratio that favors her. 70% about her and 30% about you.
Now if she’s going out of her way to ask you about your favorite movies, your new watch, the next car you’re looking to buy - go for it. Engage and talk about yourself. Otherwise, make the focus about her.
Send Her Photos of Things That Remind You of Her
If a girl ever mentions something and you can bring up this topic later with a cute photo, go for it. Let’s say she has a weird fascination and love for owls.
Well, if you see a cute owl somewhere, take a photo and say “He reminded me of you.”
Women love that kind of stuff.
Or suppose she says her favorite dish is baked ziti. Next time you order a baked ziti, take a picture and say to her “jealous?”
It shows you’re paying attention to what she says and you remember the little details about her.
A “Good Morning” is Always Nice
There’s a right way to do a good morning text and a wrong way.
“Good morning babe! Texting you yesterday was so nice. Can’t wait to chat more tonight! Have a good day? What’s for breakfast btw??”
Too much stimuli is being thrown here, plus you are giving heavy simp vibes.
You want to keep it simple with a good morning text.
“Good morning. Hope you have a productive day.”
That’s it. Nothing more is needed.
Or let’s say she has something eventful happening at work.
You can go with:
“Good morning. You’re going to do great with your presentation. Have a productive day.”
Don’t overcomplicate it.
Sexting Can Ruin An Emotional Connection
Women don’t mind sexting with a guy they like.
It can be a great way to build up sexual tension with a woman.
But you have to tread carefully. Women only have so much patience for sexting. For some girls it could be 5 minutes, for others 20.
Once her subconscious alarm goes off 10 minutes into sexting, a guy may still want to keep going. And she’ll begrudgingly oblige. But then he might take it further and start bringing up all his kinks at which point a girl could definitely lose patience with him - or worse - become completely turned off.
If she initiates sexting, play along for a couple of minutes but try leading it to an actual meet up. Never initiate. If she has zero interest in sexting and you initiate it, this can disrupt the emotional connection you've built up.
Building an Emotional Connect isn’t Hard
It’s not difficult to text a girl the right way where she’ll start bonding with you.
Just make sure you’re strategic about it. Be careful with how much you’re saying.
Quality matters over quantity. When you see she’s not feeling a certain topic, change the subject. When she’s loving a subject, stay on it.
And remember, never overwhelm her.
What if you need help with meeting and attracting women in the first place? Check out my dating manual. It will help you with networking, talking to girls, and making yourself more attractive.