What’s Rizz? (And How To Get It In Seven Ways)

September 7, 2023
What’s rizz? (And How To Get It In Seven Ways)
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What exactly is rizz? Swag. Charisma. Knowing how to talk to a woman. It’s the one thing that can enhance the attraction of any man regardless of their shortcomings.

Balding? No problem. Short? Doesn’t matter. Beer belly? She won’t care. If you have rizz, these “flaws” are overlooked. She’ll be thinking that there’s “something” about you that is making her crazy.

When you have rizz, her attraction to you is so strong that you won’t have to do much convincing. She’ll practically be asking for it. This is why a lot of sexy women will agree that ugly men can be dangerous. Why? Because ugly men can’t rely on their looks, the smart ones develop rizz that drives women absolutely wild for them. In essence, it's all about being a bad boy.

So, how do you get rizz then? Developing rizz can be boiled down to these seven steps. Some of these steps directly impact your rizz (charisma) and others help in making you more presentable that heighten your rizz with women.

How To Get Rizz in Seven Ways


You must have great hygiene.

There is no way around this.

What does great hygiene entail?

Teeth: No matter how much rizz you have, you will not get women with bad teeth. If she can’t picture herself kissing you, then you have no shot.

If your teeth are busted, invest into fixing them ASAP. Take out a loan if you have to, because I repeat - you will have a really hard time attracting women with bad teeth.

If your teeth are stained, this is an easy fix. Whiten them using one of the many products available on the market. Even if you don’t smoke or drink coffee, there is no harm in getting a touch up. No woman will ever say “ugh, he’s got super white teeth, I don’t like him.”

Teeth whitening is one of the easiest things a man can do to maximize his rizz. Most men are not doing this - this thought almost never crosses their mind. Do it and you will stand out.

Nails: Here’s a well-kept secret - women are intrigued by men that get manicures. I am aware that this advice sounds feminine, but I’m giving you the real deal. This habit will definitely add to your rizz.

Not only will this new habit push you to take better care of yourself overall, it also offers a setting to refine your game with women.

Make small talk with the girl sitting next to you and with your manicure lady. Most importantly, when women see that you get manicures, they instantly think you have standards for the type of women you date.

Women are intrigued by men with standards. No one wants to date someone with low standards.

The more you take care of yourself, the better quality of girls you attract.

Hot women want to know that you won’t just date anyone with a pulse.

This small add-on creates a barrier to dating you – which makes them want you more. Lots of men workout.

Manicures are an extra bonus that will add to your rizz. You will definitely stand out from the rest.

If women that take care of the themselves are not your thing, then this advice doesn’t apply to you. Bums attract bums. But if you want to date high quality women, follow this advice.

Bring Value

Don’t just sleepwalk through life and be a yes man.

Men with rizz bring value in the bedroom, boardroom, classroom, to dates…everywhere.

Warning: Don’t be a know-it-all. This is annoying and will get you on the unlikeable list fast.

You don’t need to have a say in all matters, and sometimes it’s better to stay quiet than embarrass yourself.

But, if you have a good idea, voice it. Don’t keep saying “I’m down for whatever” or “I’m ok with what you want to do”.

If you’re constantly bringing ideas and leading in a situation or relationship, it’s ok to fall back on occasions. But to constantly have no opinion, no feedback, no preference– is weak and boring.

If you bring no value, there is no reason to keep you around. Women are attracted to men that can make decisions, bring ideas, give solid advice, and bring value to a relationship/dates.

“Value” does not need to be financial. Showing you can pick a great restaurant is value. Knowing how to dress well is value. Telling her you like the black dress over the white one is value. Giving advice or your point of view on things is value.

No one wants to date an airhead. Women want a pack leader. They want to be proud of who they’re with. If you bring value to a team, on a date, at work, or wherever, women will notice.

Women long for a responsible, powerful, stable man in their life. It doesn’t matter if she’s a high-powered executive who is running a corporate division. She’ll be turned on if you offer a point of view she didn’t think of. She’ll remember it forever.

Take her to a trending lounge. Offer a movie to see. Say you know a great Italian restaurant for dinner. Women desire men that can lead.

No Mr. Nice guy

Women say they want a nice guy who is available at all times, compliments her, doesn’t play games, brings her flowers and chocolate and all that other nice guy bs, but really this is lies.

As soon as you start doing this, she’s just going to lose attraction for you and chase after the guy who does none of the above.

Women don’t have sex with nice guys.

How many times has a woman told her girlfriends “he’s just too nice for me” or they have friend zoned you with “you’re a really nice guy, but…”

Women are not searching for men who will beat and cheat on them. A “nice guy” if I had to break it down to the bare core means a guy that has no backbone, a guy with no mystery to him.

In other words, he’s got no rizz.

Men with rizz don’t treat women like goddesses.

Your wife – yes. A random girl you just met or barely know – no.

“Whatever you like babe.” - a line which shows you have no position on anything.

You don’t need to agree with everything she says.

Don’t go out of your way to make her comfortable.

Example: You meet a girl on a dating app. She is flying back from vacation and asks if you can pick her up. You live 1 hour away from the airport, and this will take away from your gym session or work project. You happily accept anyway – “sure, I’d love to!”

This is pushover behavior. A guy with rizz tells her to take an uber and they can do dinner when she settles back in.

Nice guys discuss marriage and kids on the first date.

They make their intentions known upfront.

Even if having a family is a priority for you, take it slow.

Men with rizz discuss this topic after several dates only after they determine that she is wifey material.

Nice guys over compliment and tell her she’s perfect.

Men with rizz give real advice and feedback.

They say she looks nice when she actually does.

When she makes a bad decision, they voice their opinion.

They don’t always take her side.

Nice guys respond right away to her messages like they have nothing else going on in life.

Men with rizz create mystery to the point where she wonders what you’re doing, whether you lost interest, whether you’re dating someone else, etc.

Nice guys are easily conquered. Anyone who gives you attention can have you.

Men with rizz are not easily conquered. She knows she has to work in order to catch you.

Prioritize yourself

Prioritize your purpose and eventually women will pursue you.

Remember this rule to attracting women:

Become valuable and scarce.

Women are instinctive creatures.

Their intuitive nature can quickly sniff out desperation and ulterior motives.

Once they even get a hint that you are needy or want only sex, you’ll be avoided like the plague.

There is no coming back from this.

When you’re valuable, you don’t need to chase women.

Women will chase you.

This doesn’t mean to not pursue someone you like.

Pursuing and desperately chasing is not the same thing.

Being “scarce” is you focusing on you.

Explore, experience life, travel the globe, find hobbies, become fit…the list is endless.

Don’t do it with the purpose of getting women.

Do it because it makes you feel good.

Do it solo or do it with friends; it doesn't matter.

Don't let sex and relationships distract you.

Prioritize self-control and discipline over desire and momentary urges.

Stay on this grind of prioritizing yourself no matter who comes along.

If she wants to eat fast food all the time, and you recently lost 200 lbs, don’t get sucked into bad habits again. When you’re fat, she won’t be around.

Are you sober and she likes to go binge drinking?  Prioritize yourself and break it off.

Men with rizz choose women that align with their values and lifestyle.

They don’t bend and conform.

Women are attracted to men that say no.

“Sorry, I can’t stay out late because of an early work out session.”

“Sorry, I can’t go the party because I have to focus on a work project this week.”

She may get mad and annoyed, but deep down – she’ll be intrigued why you turned her down.

She’ll love that you have priorities.

Keep going to the gym, keep hustling, keep grinding, keep improving yourself.

This is how you keep women chasing you.

Don’t Entertain Her For Too Long

Whether it’s a cold approach or on a dating app, the formula is the same – make small talk, make her laugh, don’t entertain the situation for too long, and ask for her number as soon as you can.

This rule is especially true on dating apps and texting.

Men are dragging on the conversation for what feels like eternity.

Women are tired of waiting for a guy to ask them out.

So, they move on to the next guy who is quick to make a move.

Men with rizz are not looking for texting buddies. (But they're proficient in creating an emotional connection through texting.)

They know how to close the deal quickly. If she says no, they move on to the next prospect.

And women are attracted to men that go after what they want.

Only way to see if there’s attraction and a connection is in person.

You can have great, long texting conversations with someone for months on end.

But, when you meet in person it’s silence.

The connection is simply not there.

Talking on phone for months means nothing.

If the vibe is off the first meeting, you’re not hearing from her again.

This is precious time wasted.

When you drag the conversation for too long, you’re conveying the following:

  • You’re trying to gather if she’s worth spending money on;
  • You’re lonely and need a texting buddy; and/or
  • You’re too pussy to make a move.

None of this is attractive and makes her want to keep engaging with you. Bottom line, small talk is fine but once the opportunity presents itself, close the deal and get her number.

Speaking of talking, if you want to get better at talking to women, click that link. Learn more about Conversation Academy.

Initiate Affection Casually

Men with rizz aren’t scared to make their intentions known.

If they like a girl, they show it – but they do so strategically.

They are never desperate with their affection.

Eagerness and desperation is needy. And neediness is the worst. It demonstrates insecurity.

Example of what not to do: it’s date one, you’re having a conversation while sitting at the bar. She’s laughing and telling you a story. You say “you’re so beautiful”, and lean over to try to make out with her.

This is too much. Life isn’t like the movies. This is a corny move and can backfire fast if she doesn’t have high interest in you.

Example of what to do: You're finishing a date at a crowded bar.  You pay the tab and as you’re about to walk out, you casually take her by the hand and lead the way. It's subtle, it demonstrates leadership, and it's very attractive.

Less is more in many instances while dating.

Rather than trying to make out or cop a feel, make your interest known in subtle ways.

Little things like this make her wonder – does he like me?

If she can’t tell that you are 100% interested, then she’ll want you more.

Be Lowkey

Men with rizz know that mystery and intrigue pique a woman’s interest.

And they don’t need to pretend or put on a façade that they’re mysterious.

They’ve learned this over time and it’s become part of their personality.

Don’t be a chatterbox. This doesn’t mean to be a mute.

If she asks you a question about your last relationship, don’t say “wouldn’t you like to know…” or “I’d rather not talk about it.” You want to avoid showing you’re offended or being rude.

A better answer would be “it was a while ago. We just weren’t a good match.”

She is not your therapist.

Don’t go into deep details why you broke up, that she cheated on you, broke your heart, and left you depressed.

Keep conversation light.

Make jokes, laugh, ask engaging questions, and don’t reveal too much.

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Men's Dating Coach

I'm a men's dating coach with over 300,000 social media followers and 25,000+ email subscribers. I’ve coached hundreds of men from all over the world and helped them with dating, relationships, and self-improvement.